~ Socialized Health Care Quotes ~
Descriptions in quotes, and one-liners
by Dr. Allen Unrue

1. Socialized medicine hotline – 1-800-you-dead
2. I called “dial-a-joke” and got the new socialized hospital.
3. Under socialism you have two choices: take it or leave it.
4. UNDERTAKERS FOR SOCIALIZED MEDICINE – WE’LL MAKE A KILLING!
5. Welcome to Uncle Sam’s clinic – Satisfaction or your MUMMY back.
6. We promise what we can’t deliver.
7. The Government’s new motto: How can we fool them today.
8. Socialism – the equal distribution of MISERY.
9. Government has no heart or soul.
10. Socialized Emergency kit – aspirin and a bandaid.
11. Give me liberty, not meth.
12. Socialism – putting patients on death row.
13. Socialism is great if you don’t need a doctor.
14. There’s Free cheese in a mousetrap.
15. Along with shekels come shackles.
16. Socialism is well balanced – there’s problems everywhere.
17. If at first socialism doesn’t succeed – LIE, LIE AGAIN.
18. Government health care will raise suffering to a higher level.
19. Socialism cures one disease – nobody will die of old age.
20. Socialism – the duty to die for the greater good.
21. Socialism – the John Bobbit approach – Let’s put it together and see if it works.
22. Socialism – for a bad cough, take a laxative – you’ll be afraid to cough.
23. For Constipation – a picture of Nancy Pelosi – It’ll scare the crap out of you.
24. Feed a fever, starve a cold – the government can only afford a cold.
25. If you don’t have a hernia you’re not carrying your share of the load.
26. Socialism is like a hospital gown – you think you’re covered but you’re not.
27. Government coverage is like trying to cover a football field with a beach towel.
28. Socialized Dentist – for a toothache – smash your thumb – you’ll forget about the toothache
29. For indigestion – poke yourself in the eye – you’ll forget about your stomach ache.
30. Socialism is managed money, not managed care.
31. Socialized eye doctor – for double vision shut one eye.
32. For High blood pressure – cut yourself and bleed to reduce the pressure.
33. Government promises free care cradle to grave, basket to casket, womb to the tomb.
34. Condoms aren’t safe – I tried one and got hit by a bus.
35. Government doctor never lost a patient – he knew where they were all buried.
36. Four out of five doctors give 80% of the care and that isn’t fair.
37. Everyone gets average care – average is the best of the lousiest and lousiest of the best.
38. You can have your head in the refrigerator and feet in the oven and on ave you’re OK.
39. You can drown wading across a stream that averages 2½ feet deep.
40. If your time’s not up even a socialist doctor can’t kill you.
41. For constipation the government recommends the Big Bathroom book.
42. Socialists slogan: there’s no problem so big it can’t be covered up.
43. The good news is you’re young at heart, the bad news is your liver’s shot.
44. Government doctor cuts off wrong leg: Patient is hopping mad.
45. Hard of hearing – use chicken wife for 29 cents – when people see it they talk louder.
46. God heals and the government collects the fee.
47. Government will cure the poor people the fastest.
48. Is life worth living – that depends on the liver.
49. If you’re really sick – your socialist doctor will touch up your x-rays.
50. I got a kidney transplant from a bedwetter.
51. Patient had bad kidneys – socialist doctor could tell due to rusty zipper and yellow tennis shoes.
52. If you have six months to live and can’t pay, socialist doctors will give you another 6 months.
53. Money may not buy health, but it will pay for a government research team to study the problem.
54. Government wants to solve the problems THEY CREATED.
55. Government health care – like asking the Mafia to fight crime.
56. Government health care – like asking Madonna to teach abstinence education.
57. Government mental care – the lunatics are guarding the asylum .
58. Govt health care is like the wolves guarding the henhouse.
59. Don’t give the govt the keys to your health = change the locks.
60. Government health care – Taking the bitter with the sour.
61. Socialism = we put the suck in successful health care.
62. Socialism – for a bright future all doctors will get sunglasses.
63. Government health care opportunity: Invest in anti-depressants.
64. Socialism – when nameless, faceless, heartless bureaucrats are the coach of the doctor.
65. In L.A you get bleached hair, silicone breasts and all natural childbirth.
66. Socialism will scare you half to death twice.
67. Alcohol only kills certain brain cells – the ones that cause good sense, shame, and restraint.
68. Dr. Kavorkian retired – wanted to quit when it stopped being fun.
69. Socialized medicine – to save money, share a hearse.
70. Entrepreneur of the year: “Do it yourself caskets.”
71. Government only pays for the tricks of the trade, the trade is too expensive.
72. The impersonal hand of government can never replace the personal hand of a physician.
73. Freedom lifts doctors and patients from the quicksand of injustice, to the solid rock of opportunity.
74. Government knows the cost of everything and the value of NOTHING.
75. Government does not have the compassion of Mother Teresa.
76. Government statistics are only accurate 68% of the time.
77. Right to health care to the Right to die to the Duty to die for the greater good. = the slippery slope.
78. Government doctors won’t be the sharpest quills in the porcupine.
79. Socialist motto: “If you can’t convince them, confuse them.”
80. Socialism = “If you tell a big enough lie, and tell it long enough and loud enough, the people are bound to believe it.” Adolph Hitler.
81. Government health care = Fascism in a white smock.
82. Will health care be different in the next century? No but if you call right now you may get in by then.
83. What if I travel and get sick? Government ask a nurse: “You really shouldn’t do that.”
84. What if I want alternative treatment? Govt. ask a nurse: “You will need alternative forms of payment.”
85. Do all diagnostic tests require precertification? Govt. ask a nurse: “No, only those you need.”
86. I think I need a specialist but my GP insists he can handle a heart transplant in his office. Can they really do that? Ask a Govt nurse: “Hard to say, but you’re only risking a $20 co-pay, there’s no harm in giving it a shot.”
87. The Government health care rationing plan has nothing to do with health care, and everything to do with getting doctors to volunteer to become slaves and patients to become wards of the state.
88. Of Hilary’s 1,342 page health care scheme, only 17 talk about health care, the rest talks about how the government will administer the plan. President Obama has learned never to publish details until it’s voted on. This is government transparency –

Conclusion:

The New Obama care health plan will cover the following:

1. Irresponsible behaviors – everyone pays the same price regardless of behavior. Drug use, gang violence, promiscuous sex, smokers.
2. The plan will pay for so-called safe sex.
3. A national electronic data base of all private medical records. This information will be used to eventually deny care and kill you.
4. Force taxpayers to pay for abortions.
5. Imprisonment if trying to bribe a doctor for giving health care not under the plan.
6. Business will be forced to pay for health care for all employees.
7. Copy most of the 79 mandates in Hillary’s plan.
8. Exempts congress and all federal employees from National Health Insurance plan.
9. Rationing medical care based on quality of life.
10. Quit your family doctor.
11. If you don’t like the care you are receiving – well you can file a complaint to the complaint review office to lodge a grievance. If you don’t receive satisfaction from the three levels of hearings mandated, you may appeal to a new federal agency, the federal health plan review board.
12. The plan will prevent you from going outside the system, even if you want to spend extra for extended coverage.
13. Your necessary benefits will be deemed by a bureaucrat, not by you or your doctor.
14. It will compel insurance companies to slash doctors fees or cut off their payments entirely until the next year to assure that expenditures will not exceed the budget.
15. It will ration high tech care.
16. Government will determine what percentage of doctors can enroll to become specialists.
17. The standards of medical necessity and appropriate care will be stringent. Will a patient’s age matter? In Canada you can’t get a heart bypass after age 55.